Another multi-million dollar church sprouts out of the ground in the face of economic crisis and adversity. The new building sits high and mighty against the rolling hills and towers over the interstate that passes by it’s front door. Hours of meetings and hundreds of “cash calls” from the membership brought the new project to fruition.
Meanwhile… the neighboring community accepts another dad into unemployment, another child skips meals, and single mothers are crushed under the weight of too many jobs and not enough opportunity.
Really? Is this what Jesus Christ had in mind? He said, “Go make disciples”, not go make buildings and programs. Here’s a little warning… God isn’t impressed with the temples. He sent Jesus Christ to hang on the cross so that WE become the temple. Isn’t that taught in those fancy “preacher schools”? Get some backbone, clergy, and get busy with the gospel of Christ… please. You know who you are.
I’ve seen some really great shows and some really cool buildings where the word of God was taught. I’ve also sat in a 20×20 room with a group of men where the spirit of God flooded the room. So let’s not kid ourselves into thinking that shiny new buildings are indicators of God’s blessing.
Men’s ministry falls into the same trap of “bigger is better”. Ministry programs and concepts come and go and will continue to be molded around our current culture. Whether you plug in the latest buzz word, build it around a cool concept, or bring in the heavy hitters… ministry will always be – ministry.
Nothing can replace the original model of men’s ministry… and that is “relationships“. Every red letter and interaction in the New Testament is an example of what ministry looks like. And if you want to assign a “sex” to it, the ministry of Christ is the original men’s ministry program.
As the lead man in the ministry program, Jesus reached out to guys by going to where they worked and lived. He called them out and started investing into their lives. There was no time to drag them to committee meetings about building stuff… they were busy trying to show other men what authentic relationships looked like.
Let’s face it… men suck at building relationships and that’s why men’s ministry generally sucks. It takes time and effort, and a little sacrifice. You can’t give up on a guy because he doesn’t want to be in your “club”. You must pursue them with truth. If you want to supercharge your men and turn your ENTIRE membership of male members… teach them how to be in relationship with one another. The concepts we use are simply… marketing. The real work is in going one on one, and that takes time and energy.
A word of advice to churches…stop building structures and start building relationships. Take your capital campaign monies and hire a man who is willing to go all in for your men. There’s more than enough research to show that as men leave the church, the generational impact on children is profound. If men don’t follow God… the kids aren’t going to follow either.
Kill the building program, stop crafting the “perfect men’s program” and get someone in charge of building relationships with men. From there, you can help dad find new jobs, help children eat, and help single mothers breathe.
It’s simple… do what Christ did.
About the Author
“You can’t give up on a guy because he doesn’t want to be in your “club”.”
Great line, Greg! At the end of the day, many men are simply just not going to be part of a “men’s ministry”. Maybe they’ve been burned in the past. Reasons rarely matter- they’re normally excuses anyway; some just won’t commit. That’s where one-on-one discipleship is key. Leaving the ninety-nine for the one is not only Biblical, it’s paramount in turning the current negative view of organized religion around. I know the very term, “Organized religion” makes some guys cringe. I’m all for it, as long as it’s the Holy Spirit doing the organizing. Showing that guy the real Christ, in a non-confrontational setting may be the only thing that gets him back on the right track. You hit the nail on the head here: “It takes time and effort,” and maybe A TON of sacrifice. To the King!
It’s just too important to ignore. Thanks for your insight and your passion.
Greg,
Was recently made aware of your online magazine (by a woman). I’ve been cruising the site and enjoying what I see. When I ran across this article, I had to comment, even though it’s an old post.
While churches in general have gotten a little better at ministering to men, I agree wholeheartedly that what we need is not another program. There’s no substitute for flesh and blood, for one-on-one relationships. Every David needs his Jonathan.
Solomon said it well when he wrote “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” Eccl. 4:9-10
Friendship and accountability among Christian men is one of my passions. I spent ten years writing a novel about it. If you’re interested, you can read some of it at the website by my name.
Keep up the great work. See you in the locker room.
Jim H.
Thanks Jim! Sometimes we get locked into programs and miss the example Christ gave. He left the building… went to the men… and called them out to join Him. I can relate to that. Blessings on you and thanks for the kind words about the Magazine.