Honor Your Father and Mother

My mother cursed me loudly from across the hospital room Only it wasn’t really my mom.

She recently spent her 71st birthday in the hospital due to complications following a back injury. An initial hospital visit resulted in her going home. But a few days later, she apparently got dehydrated and her electrolytes got out of balance. An extremely low sodium level and lower than normal potassium count caused an abrupt, unexpected impact on her mental health. And I mean a serious impact. I watched my mother struggle with emotional outbursts and at times a dramatic, sudden change in personality.

Some of you have dealt with similar issues. I found myself facing that post middle age rite of passage: caring for elderly parents. If you’ve already faced that, you can no doubt relate to the stresses involved. If not, you may well have to deal with such things in the future.

I found my mother’s real flash point involved eating. If you’re suffering from low sodium and electrolyte imbalance, proper nutrition is critical. The IV bag of sodium solution is only a quick, temporary fix. My mom wasn’t eating like she should. Always a small built woman, she entered the hospital weighing 129 and quickly dropped to 116. When I asked he why she didn’t eat much of her breakfast, an angry outburst was the result. But again, I knew this wasn’t my sweet mom. I can’t tell you how difficult that was. It broke my heart and tested my spirit to see her like this.

Thankfully, I have a loving, supportive family that was able to deal with this together. After several weeks, mom made a significant recovery, praise God.

It’s one of the Big Ten: Honor thy father and thy mother.

That commandment is easy enough when the road is smooth. When things get rocky, the tests and trials result. My father and siblings and I found ourselves turning to that foundation of faith that I think is paramount in coping with such a crisis. I know my own prayer dependence was kicked up a considerable notch. But isn’t that true for most of us when we’re called on to weather a storm?

Some are quick to invoke advice from scripture. Nothing wrong with that. A feeling of helplessness finds one grasping for any understanding; any means of comfort, any port in a storm if you will. You’ve no doubt heard it said: “God won’t give you more burdens than you can bear”. It’s a soothing thought, but I don’t think you’ll find it in your Bible. I think the closest thing to that advice is found somewhere in Corinthians and it actually talks about God not testing us more than the trials anyone else might face.

Caring for elderly parents is often not a pleasant task. But don’t get me wrong; it’s a duty I embrace with faith, love and understanding. My personal responsibility is made more difficult by long distance. 850 miles to be exact. That’s the drive from South Mississippi to Central Illinois. I’ve made that drive many times and will no doubt make it many more.

It still hurts deeply to see your parents suffer. Mom struggling in the hospital bed and my elderly father doing his best to cope when he’s not in the best of health. I recalled another such moment about eight years ago. I stayed up all night with my dad in the critical care unit as he recovered from open heart surgery. He was hooked up to machines and tubes and heaven knows what else. He couldn’t talk. I think I saw fear in my dad’s eyes that long, late night. That hurts. My dad, my invincible hero, tied down to marvelous machines of medicine. I held his hand and reassured him things would be fine. Thankfully, they turned out fine.

My dad told me later, “Son, I don’t know how I could have made it without you”.

I remembered that night when I held mom’s hand recently in the hospital. You know how parents are. To my mother, I’m still her child, her son, her baby. In reality, I’m a near 50 year old man doing his best to bring comfort and assurance, while questioning whether his own faith and strength will sustain the moment.

I owe my parents everything. They would do anything in the world for me. And I would do the same for them.

God is good. He doesn’t promise things will always go the way we want, the way we pray for, or the way we think is best. It’s in those very times of helplessness that He reminds us we are all His children. Trust in Him.

My dad is a strong Catholic who raised me and my brother and two sisters in the faith. My mother is also a spiritual woman, who happens to attend a Protestant church, the United Church of Christ. Between them both, I was honored to be raised in a family of faith and love and support and respect and understanding.

I pray for my parents daily. I know they pray for their children as well.

Call your mom and dad. Tell them you love them.

Our heavenly Father’s love is reflected, strengthened and sometimes tested in the faith of his children.

-Steve

About

Welcome, and thanks for dragging yourself over to Live|Bold! My name is Greg Arnold and I am pumped to see you here. This interactive online community is here to point every man toward the cross. Whether you have been a follower of Christ for ages, or you are just stumbling into this strange new world of faith, we have something of value to offer you. This online e-zine is a cross between a blog, a social network, a resource center, and a pulpit. My hope is to inspire you to live your faith on the outside and be a real man for God. We need you in the fight.