I have an 11 year old little girl that makes my day… every day. When she was born, I promised that no matter what… I would do everything in my ability to be there for her and spend time with her.

About 1 month before the birth of my daughter, I was sitting in a coffee shop eating lunch. An older friend from my Rotary Club walked in, we exchanged pleasantries, and he sat down to join me for a few minutes of conversation.  He knew I was about to become a father, and in his wisdom of life experiences, he stopped the small talk, looked me square in the eyes,  and said, “If I had it to do all over again… I would spend more time with my children and less time at work. Now they are grown, and I missed out on so much.” We were both silent for a moment as his eyes filled with sadness.

God used my friend to etch a strong warning into my heart.   From that moment forward, there was no doubt that my daughter would know my presence. There is nothing that can replace the love of a father to a child. I appreciate mothers and the love they have… it’s special in it’s on right, but it’s not like a father’s love.

In Dan Schaffer’s book, “Spiritual Fathers”, he outlines research by acclaimed Christian researcher George Barna.  The study revealed that around 30% of children who attend church with just their mothers will hold to their faith in young adulthood and further.  The contrast is that more than 90% of children who attend church with their fathers will hold to their faith in young adulthood and further.

A father’s influence is powerful.  And being at all of the seemingly small events are important.  There’s no paycheck that matches the moment when my girl glances over to find me, our eyes lock, she smiles, and I know what she feels.

The best gift you can give your family and your children is your PRESENCE.  If you have to sacrifice your wants to be there for your family, you must do it. If you have to cut out a hobby or two to go to the dance recital or the football practice or the birthday party… you MUST do it. Your presence will have more of an impact on your child than anything you’ll say. Period.

God’s picture for us is… PRESENCE. God was with the children of Israel day and night while they were wandering in the wilderness. God was with His son from birth to death to resurrection. Christ Jesus teaches us that the Holy Spirit is with us. If God cares enough to be with YOU, then you should certainly follow His model and be there for your children.

There is nothing you can do, no amount of money you can earn, and not enough gifts you can buy to replace the love and guidance that your children crave from you.  This is true of the man who slaves away on the job site or the minister who neglects his children for the sake of “goodness”.  Find balance.

In my ministry to men, I’ve noticed that men who are not present in their homes find it hard to rely on the presence of God. There seems to be some lack of trust in God because they can’t trust themselves to be present. As it has been echoed for generations… if you want to experience God’s presence, you must Give of yourself and make room for Him to enter.
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