NOW! Presence.

Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you doing it with? Do you go places? Do you hide at home? What does your day look like? All of these questions relate back to the idea of your presence. I’m convinced that the ailments we are seeing in the kids of western culture are evidence of what happens when dad isn’t present.

Where are you?

Have you had a chance to watch the video by Casting Crowns on the Live Bold website? When the front page loads up… click play on the video and listen to the words… watch the pictures. It’s worth 4 minutes of your day.

I have an 8 year old little girl that makes my day… every day. When she was born, I made a promise to myself that no matter what… I would do everything in my ability to be there for her.

About 1 month before the birth of my little girl, I was sitting in a coffee shop eating lunch. An older friend from my Rotary Club walked in and we began talking about general things. He knew I was about to become a father, and in his wisdom of life experiences… he stopped… was quiet… and he looked me square in the eyes and said, “If I had it to do all over again… I would spend more time with my children. Now they are grown, and I missed out on so much.” We were both silent for a minute and I saw his eyes get a little “glassy” if you know what I mean.

It was if God had used my friend to etch a strong warning into my heart. I had heard this before, but this time it was piercing. From that moment forward, there was no doubt that my daughter would know my presence. There is nothing that can replace the love of a father to a child. I appreciate mothers and the love they have… it’s special in it’s on right, but it’s not like a father’s love.

I’m reading a book by Dan Schaffer called Spiritual Fathers. In this book, he outlines some research that has been done by acclaimed Christian researcher George Barna. It tells us that about 30% of children who attend church with just their mothers will hold to their faith in young adulthood and further. The contrast is that 90% of children who attend church with their fathers will hold to their faith in young adulthood and further.

So you think your presence doesn’t matter?

I’ve made an effort to be at every little celebration, activity, and party that I can attend for my daughter. I can say factually that I am usually the only Dad in the room or 1 of 2 dads. I agree that It is hard to sit through cheerleading practice and say… “woohoo good cheer!” It is even harder to sit through dance practice. However, I realize that these small events will only happen 1 time… and I better not miss it. And more importantly… I want her to know that I am here. It’s very cool when she glances over and our eyes lock. She smiles and I know what she feels… I was a child too… and I remember the impact of looking over and seeing my Dad watching.

This Christmas… I want you to know that the best present you can give your family and your children is your PRESENCE. The excuse of going out and making a living for your family doesn’t cut it. If you have to sacrifice a little bit on your wants to be there for your family… then you must do it. If you have to cut out a hobby or two to go to the dance recital or the football practice or the birthday party… you MUST do it. Your presence will have more of an impact on your child than anything you’ll say. Period.

I am very tired of listening to people complain about “these kids today” when we’ve programmed them to be who they are. If you can’t commit to your family… don’t have one. Strong enough for you? It’s that important! Men tend to throw away their responsibilities and leave it up to the mothers… but let me tell you that only a dad can give “daddy love”. Just ask the moms… they’ll be the first to tell you.

God’s picture for us is… PRESENCE. God was with the children of Israel day and night while they were wandering in the wilderness. God was with His son from birth to death to resurrection. Christ Jesus teaches us that the Holy Spirit is with us. If God cares enough to be with YOU, then you should certainly follow His model and be there for your children.

There is nothing you can do, no amount of money you can earn, and not enough gifts you can buy to replace the love and guidance that your children crave from you. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”.

It’s interesting to me too… something I’ve seen… that men who are not present in their homes find it hard to rely on the presence of God. There seems to be some lack of trust in God because they can’t trust themselves to be present. As it has been echoed for generations… if you want to experience God’s presence, you must Give of yourself and make room for Him to enter.

Guys, I can’t tell you how much impact you have on the lives of your children and the children you are around on a regular basis. You must be present. I pray that you don’t wake up everyday 20 years from now with regret over not spending enough time with your children. When you sleep tonight… today will be gone forever… make the most of it.

No matter what you’ve done or how you have done it, God is present. God the Father is always watching, waiting on you to glance over at Him. When you know God is present in your life, you understand what it means to be loved and how to love.

Peace,
Greg
Acts 4:31

About

Welcome, and thanks for dragging yourself over to Live|Bold! My name is Greg Arnold and I am pumped to see you here. This interactive online community is here to point every man toward the cross. Whether you have been a follower of Christ for ages, or you are just stumbling into this strange new world of faith, we have something of value to offer you. This online e-zine is a cross between a blog, a social network, a resource center, and a pulpit. My hope is to inspire you to live your faith on the outside and be a real man for God. We need you in the fight.