Several years ago before my daughter was born, I was having lunch in a local sandwich shop when an older friend of mine walked through the door and changed my life.  After shaking hands, we exchanged some pleasantries about how we were doing, the condition of the weather outside, and potential weekend plans – the normal man talk stuff.  I invited him to sit down and eat with me since there were barely more than the two of us in the small shop.

We sat through lunch and had a very manly conversation about sports, cars, boats, digging holes, and other non-personal events in our life, and then the conversation turned.  As an aquaintence from a local civic club, he knew that my wife and I were expecting our first child.  He looked me square in the eyes and said, “If I had it to do all over again, I would have spent less time on my career and more time with my children.  Now they are grown and gone, and I missed out on so much.”

His eyes watered up, but didn’t produce the tear… but we both knew it was a deep wound.

I took his words and planted them very firmly in my mind.  I prayed to God that He wake me up if I found myself galavanting around and missing time with my child.

There is a pressure that our female counterparts sometimes don’t understand… that in our man role as providers and protectors we also deal with fear of failure, pride, and the animal of selfish pursuits.  In other words – men have pressure to perform at work, and are expected to be superdads at home.  It’s a dynamic that I fully didn’t understand until I was immersed into the role of “father”.  This is not to diminish the femal role in our homes… but it is fact that we are just simply wired different.

So the challenge to be present in the life of my daughter is a daily decision that I must make so that I don’t end in the same place as my friend.  I am quickly understanding how fast our children grow up and that every day counts.

As a dads, we are ever inclined to follow the path that our fathers took with us.  Like it or not, you have an imprint on your life from the action or lack of action by your dad.  Whether you knew your dad as your best friend, he was in your house but not present, or you never knew him at all… the imprint exists.

Your challenge is to take your eyes away from your experiences with your father and look to God’s example of what fatherhood should be.  I do understand that this challenge is often more than you can face, but understand God’s ways:  sacrifice, unconditional love, forgiveness, correction but not harshness, restraint, strength, consistent, truthful, authoritative, compassion, and so much more.

This is a tall order, but the cure to what ails our communities is not what we give our fathers… its what our fathers give us.

Father’s Day Presence is more powerful, more life changing, and more satisfying that anything else you can accomplish in your lifetime.  If you aren’t a father… be a man of integrity that you can teach the young, fatherless children how to respond to life.  There are way too many opportunities to be that guy.

This Father’s Day, commit your life to emulating God by being present in the life of your children or be an example to the fatherless children in your life.  If your father wasn’t present in your life… you know how you feel.  Don’t pass that to your children… you are responsible for how they grow up.  If you have a wonderful dad… that’s awesome, but no matter how great… only God can provide unfailing guidance.

I pray for all fathers… that Fathers Day is celebrated with presence.  My prayer is to be reminded that I have a responsibility that is much larger than me… and that is to raise my child to know Gods unfailing commitment to her… by being the best man of God I can be.  I will fail and make mistakes, but hopefully she will know that God will never fail her.

Happy Father’s Day to all of you dads.  May you reach deep inside and lean on God when you don’t think you can pull the load one step further… you don’t have an option – the children are watching your every move.

Peace,
Greg Arnold
Acts 4:31
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