Perhaps, like me, you are an avid hunter. I enjoy most any kind of hunt – duck, dear, dove, elk – you name it, I’ll do it. Because I went hunting so much when my son Lane was young, he grew up begging to go with me.

After one disastrous duck hunt, I learned a very valuable lesson. For most hunters, success is measured in numbers, but I discovered success was something different when it came to hunting with my son.

Anytime we would go hunting, my wife would pack Lane a sack full of snacks. Now, of course, these were not fruit chews or bubble gum or something soft and quiet. Instead, they were typically loud items – a bag of chips, crackers or something with a cellophane liner which alerted everyone or everything in the county that we were here.

A lot of the times, I would take my son hunting and let him take his pellet gun or maybe his 410. He would think we were on a “real” deer hunt, but the truth of it was, as loud as we were walking through the woods, we would have never been able to slip up on a deer. But, no matter what, it was fun to him.

I didn’t fuss at him for crunching on snacks. I didn’t fuss about his loud talking or try to make him whisper, because I wanted him to just enjoy the experience of being with dad.

We went on many “pseudo” hunts, but my son never knew it. All he knew was that his dad cared enough to take him hunting, that we spent time together and that we laughed. We didn’t have a lot of luck, but it was a great experience all the same.

You see, while I wanted to be successful in a hunt, more than anything, I wanted to be successful as a parent. What I wanted most was to be with him, and I wanted him to want to be with me. The same way I wanted to develop a strong relationship with my son in a place, time, and setting where we could be alone and learn things we couldn’t learn anywhere else.  There is a God in heaven who wants the same with you. He wants to spend time with you and let you get to know Him.

Lane is now 19-years-old and still hunts with me from time to time. From our many trips together, we have gotten to know each other’s styles and strengths. In this same way, the more we spend time with God, the more we will understand His ways, which are perfect.

Evangelist Jay Lowder is the founder of Jay Lowder Harvest Ministries, an organization dedicated to reaching diverse groups of people with the message of Jesus Christ. Through his ministry, Lowder travels the globe to football stadiums, schools, churches and even under shade trees in Africa to provide a message of hope to the hurting. He resides in Wichita Falls, Texas, with his wife, Melissa and their three children Lane, Kayley Faith and Graham.

[Welcome our guest contributor, Jay Lowder, of Harvest Ministries.  A three week feature series on Outdoors and Hunting - each Thursday in October on Live Bold Magazine.]

I love hunting. It is something that my father taught me and has been a passion ever since. There are a lot of things you can learn from hunting – about tracking, life, death, even yourself – that you can’t learn anywhere else.

So, naturally, when I had a son of my own, like any other dad, I wanted to pass along the love for this sport. Having seen me go out so many times before, my son Lane had begged on several occasions to go with me. So, when he was about nine years old, we trotted out on our first duck hunt together.

I remember it was a bitter cold winter’s day. The wind was blowing and it was great duck hunting weather but poor conditions for a young kid. Since Lane didn’t have any waders to fit him, I allowed him to borrow a smaller pair I had.

Duck hunting, like any other hunting, requires a lot of sitting down and being quiet. This is not normally real exciting for most young boys who are hyper, want to be on the move and lacking patience. The same was true of my son, but he was doing pretty good. That was until “the incident.”

We were sitting in a duck blind and not having a stable seat, my son tipped over, and water subsequently leaked into his waders.

Now, I’ve been on plenty of hunts where the same thing has happened. It’s something all hunters learn to deal with at one time or another. So, when my son started complaining because he was cold and the ducks weren’t flying, rather than being sensitive, I told him to be patient and “be a man.” It’s just part of hunting.

I was trying to toughen up my son. The motive was good but I had lost sight of the fact the success of the hunt was not determined by how many ducks we killed but by how much good, quality time we spent together and how much fun Lane had.

Oblivious to this at the time, it wasn’t until Lane began to cry from the freezing water that I finally gave in and ended the hunt. As we left, it was obvious I was frustrated and not happy.

I made the promise I would buy him a pair of waders that fit him and we would go out another day. But about a week later when I mentioned it to him, he said he didn’t want to go duck hunting. I tried a few more times to bring up the subject but finally Lane told me he didn’t think he ever wanted to go duck hunting again.

Lane never blamed me for his sudden lack of interest in duck hunting, despite the numerous times before of begging to go, but it was obvious that it was because his well-meaning father had all the wrong focus and sucked the enjoyment out of the process. To this day, he hasn’t been back on a duck hunt.

Sometimes, you may feel our heavenly Father is treating you the same way I treated Lane. Perhaps you have been left feeling God didn’t care about you and that your suffering was no big deal. Perhaps you have been through a divorce, layoff or foreclosure and felt that when life hit you the hardest and you were freezing to death, God wasn’t even listening to your complaints. It seemed as if no matter how much you told him you were hurting, he didn’t seem to care.

Most people won’t admit it, but we’ve probably all felt that way at some point. The good news is these are simply lies the enemy tells us.

In 1 John 5:14 (NIV) it says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”

Unlike me, who had selfish motives, our heavenly Father is perfect and always has our best interests in mind. He keeps his eye on the prize – you.

You may be going through a tough time, but know that God hears your cries and He knows what is best.

Evangelist Jay Lowder is the founder of Jay Lowder Harvest Ministries, an organization dedicated to reaching diverse groups of people with the message of Jesus Christ. Through his ministry, Lowder travels the globe to football stadiums, schools, churches and even under shade trees in Africa to provide a message of hope to the hurting. He resides in Wichita Falls, Texas, with his wife, Melissa and their three children Lane, Kayley Faith and Graham.

The alarm went off right on time it was opening day of gun season for deer in November of 2002.

When I got up that morning the usual excitement that comes with opening day was missing this time. My family had been going through a tough period over the last few years that came to a head on October 15th of 2002. My father in law had passed away on that day after a long battle with cancer.

On this particular morning… it was supposed to be my daughter Ashton’s first hunt where she would actually be the hunter and not just the spectator. My father in law had been planning this for a year. He had picked out her a Remington .243 and told her she would be sitting with him on his private stand known as The Dog Leg. She had been extremely excited about that hunt, but now things had changed and I would have to try to fill in the best I could.

I woke up my little girl early that morning and we left for the hunting camp while it was still dark. We drove to the camp in a heavy, sad silence in the truck with an occasional sniffle instead of the usual hunting talk about the weather and how many deer we would probably see. We stopped at my father in law’s favorite store on the way to get some biscuits, cold drinks and snacks. I was determined to do my best to make sure that everything he had planned on doing for her that day got done.

We pulled in to the camp house and we could smell the smoke from the old stove and we heard the familiar low hushed voices from inside, and yet we both knew that something was missing. Most of the people that hunted with us were either family or long time friends of my father in law, and they too were trying to cope with the loss of a father, grandfather, uncle, boss, hunting club president, and trusted friend.

After spending some time inside the camp house, the time came when all of us drew a number for a stand except my daughter. We all knew where she would hunt that day. After a prayer was offered for the safety of our hunters everyone went to their stands.

My daughter and I climbed up into the Dog Leg while it was still dark. As we got situated for the hunt I quietly said a prayer to God that just maybe Ashton would get her first buck that day or that we would at least see some deer. You should know that I don’t usually pray to God for me to have a successful hunt, but this was my little girl’s first hunt and with all she had been through I was really hoping it would be a good day for her.

At first light the anticipation was high and we were both quietly waiting for the action to start. I looked at Ashton and realized how lucky I was to have a daughter that would hunt with her dad.  With the bad circumstances that had put me with her that day instead of her being with Paw Paw Phillips I thanked God for this opportunity. As if on cue, I looked to my left and noticed a decent rack buck walking across the narrow food plot. I quickly alerted Ashton to the buck, but by the time she turned around and got her gun up… the buck was already in the woods. It appeared that our opportunity was gone.

Before we knew it, there he was again… he stepped out. You could tell by the way he walked boldly out in the open with his head held high that he knew he was the boss in that neck of the woods. The morning sunlight was reflecting off his majestic set of almost white antlers. I was witnessing the largest buck I had ever seen and my little girl was fixed on him. She had her gun up and I told her to take the shot when she got ready. After a few moments the big buck started walking out of the food plot.  It was at this point I started almost pleading with her to shoot the buck.

No shot was fired.

When he was gone I asked what happened. Without turning around the she said she could not see him through her scope. When I asked her why she couldn’t see him she turned around and that is when I could see the tears in her eyes. She said when she saw the big buck all she could think was Paw Paw was supposed to be here today. Needless to say hunting was forgotten for the moment. I hugged my little girl and when we both had dried our tears we finally were able to talk about how big the white antlered buck had been.

I wish I could tell you that he stepped back out and she got her buck that day, but it did not happen. We sat in that stand waiting on the buck over next few days.  Good news is that finally on Thanksgiving morning my daughter got her first buck. It was a young six pointer. My daughter still to this day has a fascination with bucks with light colored antlers, and still sits in the Dog Leg almost every time she goes hunting. It gives her the opportunity to remember her Paw Paw Phillips and wait on the big white antlered buck. She is grown into a beautiful young lady today, but every time I drop her off at the Dog Leg I remember that she will always be my little girl that sometimes just needs her dad to hold her, to cry with her and to tell her it will be okay.

God has a way of teaching us lessons through the eyes and thoughts of our children.  In fact, God tells us that we should approach him like a child… full of wonder, trust, excitement, and in an authentic way.

As the first day of deer season rapidly approaches I would like to remind you dads out there that this is the opportunity you have been waiting on to spend quality time with your son or daughter. I would also like to offer some advice on how to make your decision to include your child in this past time a positive one.

First things first for you hardcore serious hunters that have to plan each and every detail of each and every hunt- forget it.  My father-in-law taught me this lesson… These first hunts are not so much about hunting as it is about making hunting fun. 

One of the biggest mistakes a lot of dads make (myself included) is that we get so worked up and focused on the end result of the hunt that we miss out on all the fun we could be having — even if we don’t harvest a deer much less see a deer.

I had been taking my daughter hunting since she was five years old and she was a trooper to put up with me constantly telling her to be still or to be quiet so as not to scare off any deer. Then one day we went hunting with my father-in-law and I noticed how much more fun she had with him. From that day forward I made sure our hunting trips together were all about having fun. 

Here’s what you need to focus on:  If they want to talk then talk, if they want a cold drink then go get them a cold drink, if they want to move around a little let them move around a little. In other words at first don’t worry about the end result of the hunt, but rather focus on the production leading up to the end of the hunt. If you do this it really won’t matter to your little hunter whether or not they got to see or harvest a deer it will only matter to them that they got some one on one time with dad.

Here’s another very important lesson:  Do not force them to do anything they don’t want to do when it comes to harvesting an animal. Don’t rush or force them to pull the trigger until they are ready. Have some self-control…if your child doesn’t want to shoot a doe don’t make them.  If they don’t want to shoot a deer at all don’t make them.  But when they do decide to take the shot… it is your responsibility to ensure that they’ve learned and understood gun safety rules. It is also your responsibility to ensure that through adequate practice your child is proficient with their gun.  Doing this first… will give them the confidence they need when it’s time to make a good clean shot. There is nothing sadder to see than the face of a child who has just missed or worse yet wounded a deer that is not found.

I hope that by following these few tips I have given and by the grace of God to overcome the mistakes we as fathers make you will have the opportunity to raise up the best hunting buddy you could have ever dreamed of having. I know that I have.

Even with all the mistakes I made along the way God blessed me with a great hunting partner — my daughter. I look forward to every hunting trip I have left with her and now that she has grown into a young lady at nineteen.  Today, I still get the same feeling of pride and joy when she not only harvests a buck, but when she just chooses to go hunting and hang out with her old dad. I can only hope that your story turns out as good as mine.

I hope you have a successful hunting season, but most of all remember to make it fun and they will grow up wanting to hunt and hang out with old dad.

Its almost time for some good quality Father / Son time…deer hunting. My son Christian loves to go hunting and is ready for action this year. The joy a dad has when walking the aisles at the hunting outfitter looking for the perfect gear for a son’s first real season is unmatched.  Yes, it’s still warm out, but not too early to start gearing up, it’s planning time!  I recently bought my son a new hunter orange hat and cold weather mask and am probably more excited to give it to him than he is to receive it.

I know this season is going to be better than the last… even if we don’t get a good shot off.  My son, Christian, was so excited this past January when I dropped this nine point back behind our property. I don’t think Christian knows how excited I am about this upcoming season.  It’s not so much the hunt that I’m looking forward to (don’t get me wrong… I’m pretty psyched up about it) it’s the time that we will spend making a countless memories during our father/son moments.  His wide open eyes and accepting little mind is fertile ground for me to show and tell him about nature and what God has placed on this earth for us.

They say that children who hunt are more likely to stay strong in family and avoid negative peer pressure. I enjoy the bond and the love I have with my son.  Every chance we dads get to spend time with our children is a memory that we will never forget, and imprints on our kids that will guide them the rest of their life.